Feeling This Way

How you ever felt like you were living a lie? I can't help but feel like I am. What could it be, the brand of clothing I wear, the morals others have instilled in me or the lack of dedication to one person, myself? I can pretend all I want that I'm happy but I will never truly be that, happy. Who am I or do I even dare to ask, what an ideal, to be afraid of who you are. Am I afraid because of social standards or is it afraid of something else. Does your fellow community play a part in your own happiness? So many questions... I feel at a loss for words maybe its the eagerness to find out or maybe its the anticipation to be truly self aware.